Wisdom Notes Testimonial

PJ Barnum once said “something terrible happens if you don’t promote yourself” so with that in mind I want to share a comment I received on my Wisdom Notes 

Hi Colin,

I just finished reading the Wheel of Time Wisdom Notes.  I wanted to ask if you want feedback from me and reflection about it?  I have thoughts and opinions about everything and it’s my job to be forthright with them.  I thought I’d ask what type of reflection you might look for about these notes.

I will tell you  – I skimmed through the whole thing and the excitement was so great that I closed it up.  Then I went back and read it again – feeling the same level of excitement mixed with awe.  Who ARE YOU that you put this together?!  

For me personally, almost every single point in this issue resonates with something I’m working on growing in my life right now.  I absolutely love it.  It feels like the best part of graduate work – the stuff one gets to love and be passionate about as they learn something they love.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and will read it a hundred times.  I can see ways to incorporate it into my professional life, personal life, conversation with my husband as we grow together.  

A question, am I paying $45.00 a month or for the year.  For some reason I think it was for the year – and, um, you can’t possibly be planning to send 12 of these out for $45.00.  That just isn’t right.  $45.00 isn’t a correct appreciation for this work.  I mean, it’s like a mini book.  Those are the things I can tell you right at this moment.

Let me know if you’d like other thoughts and reflections.

You really have a gift.  I’m honored to be the recipient of it through your work here.

Laura

In fact there are 2 Wisdom Notes per week for 1 year..and I hope that many others can benefit like Laura then my work is moving in the right direction.

Send me an email if you would like a sample – colin.udelewis (at) mindtram.com

Colin

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Now what?

To Reach a Port we must Sail.   Sail, Not tie at anchor.   Sail, not drift – Roosevelt.

Are you drifting or sailing?

If you are drifting along then I can help you reignite the passion within. Contact me for an initial courtesy 30 minute motivation session to discover how I can help you ‘sail’.

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Really going for it

I’ve just finished writing one book and a good friend & successful author is now reviewing it. So far comments are extremely encouraging. Last week I started writing my second manuscript and the idea has filled me with passion – its consuming. It’s based on how to lead your life deep rooted with ancient wisdom. The idea hit me like a steam roller – I’ve linked the ancient wisdom with one of the most popular books on leadership in recent years – I think it was the missing link between how to become a leader (in that particular best selling book).

Tom Morris who has become one of the most active public philosophers in the world due to his unusual ability to bring the greatest wisdom of the past into the challenges of the present once said to me “Paradox is always the sign you’re in the neighborhood of deep truth”.

I think I have discovered that truth and I am feeling the passion rise daily within me. One of the huge mistakes people make is that they try to force an interest on themselves. You don’t choose your passions; your passions choose you. When you feel that passion make sure that you take hold of it and make the most of whatever it is telling you.

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What People Get from Coaching

I was brainstorming with a group of clients last week during a training seminar about why they ‘bought’ Coaching. Here’s a summary of the key points:

In the first instance we looked at what resonates with the buyer.

• The perfect solution to a specific problem
• A service that people want to buy without being coerced
• An idea that people immediately understand has value to them, even
  if they have never heard of your company or its products and services

Thinking of those bullets we expanded onto the top 3 items they said they came to Coaching to solve:

1. Leadership Development – improving interpersonal and team leadership skills.
2. Self-awareness – becoming more aware of there shortcomings and understanding the origins and history of behavior at home and work and its impact on others.
3. Life balance – balancing personal and professional roles more effectively

What they all agreed upon was that Coaching first and foremost helps leaders find their authentic self – by doing this they gain more credibility in the workplace and see an increase in productivity both from themselves and their direct reports.

Please contact me if you want to know more. (colin(dot)udelewis(at)mindtram(dot)com

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Emotional Intelligence and People Skills

There’s a saying that goes your “IQ gets you hired but your personality ‘EQ’ gets you fired”. Whilst there is of course much truth in this I suggest an Employer can help Employees develop their EQ (Emotional Intelligence or EI) so that their IQ gets them hired and their EQ gets them promoted.

What is EI and why is it important? Confusion still abates about what is EI, in my coaching I define it as an intelligent system for the processing of emotional information. So EI cuts across the cognitive and emotional systems.

All good coaches use some form of EI in their work and ‘awaken’ the EI of their clients. I prefer to use the following 5 broad subtypes in explaining EI. Each of these components is broken into various subcomponents.

• The first is intrapersonal intelligence, which is composed of emotional self-awareness, assertiveness, self-regard, self-actualization, and independence.
• The second is interpersonal intelligence, which comprises empathy, interpersonal relationship, and social responsibility.
• The third construct is adaptability, which divides into problem solving, reality testing, and flexibility.
• Fourth is stress management, which comprises stress tolerance and impulse control.
• The fifth contains measures of general mood, which is composed of happiness and optimism.

So if the above 5 traits do not convince you about the value of EI – what about this – – Emotion is the power that CONNECTS human beings to everything they CARE about! Emotions are among the primary determinants of behavior and achievement at work, impacting upon individual productivity, satisfaction, well being, and social climate.

Emotions are real-time indications of how well we think we are coping with day-to-day challenges and demands. EI provide us with invaluable information about ourselves, other people, and the various dynamic transactions that we share inside our organizations. This information filters through to us because our feelings reflect spontaneous emotional responses to the appraisals and interpretations we make of ongoing events in the workplace. By tapping into the rich information that emotions provide us with, we can often alter our thinking and behavior in such a way as to allow us to negotiate organizational challenges in a more adaptive (and indeed productive) manner.

One aspect of EI is Empathy (a subset of interpersonal skills). Empathy refers to the awareness of other’s feelings, needs, and concerns. At the individual level, empathy is a person’s ability to sense and understand other people’s feelings, concerns, and perspectives.

Empathy also implies taking active interest in other individuals’ concerns and feelings, and responding to other individuals’ unspoken feelings. In other words, when we are emotionally in tune, we can put aside our own personal agendas for some period, in order to be receptive to other people’s signals.

Empathy is essential as an emotional guidance system, piloting us in getting along at work, it is a meaningful predictor of quality performance in the job environment. According to scientific reserach individuals high in empathy are more capable of relating to other group members within a professional organization (Williams & Sternberg, 1988). In addition, the ability to empathize with others and relate to the feelings of others may play a role in the formulation of superior goals, plans, and strategies.

Empathic ability is particularly important when the problems to be solved
require reconciliation of conflicting opinions in a manner that is acceptable
to diverse people working within an organization.

So if thought of as the equivalent of a ‘‘social radar,’’ empathy is crucial for success in the business world. We know it is important to listen empathically to the customer’s point of view and to see reality from their perspective.

Furthermore, empathy is a critical component of conflict resolution and negotiation skills. The best negotiators can sense which points matter
most to the other party and gracefully concede them, while pressing for
concessions in points that do not carry such emotional relevance to the other party.

I am often asked can EI be learned and the short answer is YES. People can be trained on the ability to accurately read the subtle social cues and
signals given by others. In so doing, these individuals can accurately determine the emotions being expressed by their colleagues and learn to understand the perspective taken by others with whom they interact.

So as you can see EI and empathy in particular is a crucial skill – indeed I would go as far as to venture that people skills are the one skill that we must all learn for all aspects of our lives.

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Stop accepting average

“Here is Edward Bear coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump on the back of his head behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming down stairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.” —A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh.

Are you falling into passive mediocrity at work or in your life? I know this may sound simple but you need to stop and contemplate exactly what you want and make a plan so that you will no longer sleepwalk through your days.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, DO SOMETHING.

What humans have accomplished came as a result of identifying problems, finding solutions, discovering that those solutions created problems, and then finding ways to solve the new problems which boils down to creating a plan and taking action.

We know in our business processes that any potentially effective problem-solving process involves recognizing the problem, defining the outcome (goal), and planning what to do about it. For our own goals it is no different – It also requires that we develop an understanding of how we block ourselves from achieving our goals and how to get unblocked. It also includes the desire to change, getting involved in the process of change, and restrictions. In other words you stick to activities that lead to your goal. J. Paul Getty said: “The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him–and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires.”

Why is it then that so few set goals and maintain them (yet those few are the ones that achieve sustainable success). Much of it is because we allow day-to-day frustrations to rule our way of being. In Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels, Gulliver woke up one morning and found himself tied to the ground by thousands of small threads attached the night before by tiny people called Lilliputians. The story of Gulliver’s encounter with the Lilliputians suggests a universal human experience. Many of us at times feel like Gulliver— bound by restraints and frustrations. While no one “thread” can tie us down, collectively they can.

And while major life frustrations, such as the loss of a valued relationship, can prove especially frustrating, research has shown that the little frustrations of life, such as being stuck in traffic or missing the train, can accumulate and affect our physical as well as our emotional well-being.

Goals help you overcome these daily frustrations, they give structure and organized direction to your life. Just identifying two or three important results in the areas of your life you wish to accomplish provides you with a purpose and sense of direction.

Without purpose our minds are dulled by the ‘ordinariness’ of our days. A mind without inspiration or purpose falls into accepting a mediocre, unsatisfied life which is also one of the biggest contributors of frustration with yourself and those around you – are you really a good boss, partner, parent, friend when the little things frustrate you?

Achieving small steps in your purpose (or life goals) increases happiness, well being, satisfaction and self-confidence, which motivates you to do more and makes you more enjoyable to be around.

People are biologically hard-wired to feel happier when they recognize they have some sense of control and choice over their lives, which is what setting goals and taking action gives them. They change from feeling like victims of life’s circumstances, or at best passive bystanders, into someone who knows they can make a difference.

“You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream; you’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.” —Diana Ross

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The Importance of Visualising your Goals

We know how athletes are taught to visualise what success looks like, how golfers see the hole as being bigger. I am often asked for examples of this visualisation in a business arena. One of the best examples I provide is the incredible imagination of Walt Disney.

Walt Disney always said, ‘If you can dream it, you can do it.’ I once read a story about Roy Disney, brother of Walt, who on the day that Walt Disney World opened to the public in Florida was driving a journalist around the park in a golf buggy. Unfortunately Walt had died before Walt Disney World was completed, and at the end of his tour of the new theme park, the journalist turned to Roy and said, ‘This is fantastic, isn’t it a shame that Walt never saw it?’ Roy just smiled at the journalist and said, ‘Walt did see it, that’s why you’re seeing it today.’

If at any time you want to think about what the future will look like, or you want to think about a great idea, simply close your eyes and visualise it. Own that vision, hold it and then put the steps in front of you, the milestones to achieve it. Draw vivid pictures in your mind of whatever your dream for the future may be. The fascinating thing about the human mind is that it can’t determine what is fact or what is fiction. So when you create a clear picture in your mind of a vision, a goal, or a problem you’re about to solve, the brain treats it the same whether it’s happened or not.

To get you started here’s a great quote from Napoleon Hill “What the mind of a man can conceive and believe it can achieve” now think about these 2 questions and visualise the result you want

1. What do you most want to achieve in the next 6 months?

2. How ready are you to go for it?

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The benefits of setting goals

This is the first post on a series about the importance of Goal setting. We’re familiar with strategic plans, business plans, holiday plans, performance management plans, crisis management plans, and so forth. Yet advice on how to get ahead personally often goes unheeded – that’s advice on goal setting.

I hear a good deal of ambivalence and even scepticism expressed about goal planning activities: “Why have a plan when everything can change tomorrow?” or “Why have a plan when I might change my mind? When I operate best on gut instinct?”

The savvy person, however, knows that today’s white-water living conditions make a compelling case for effective personal planning skills. You need to be able to focus, but more important, you need to have a focus. “If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one,” a Russian proverb points out.

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